I dont claim to ride a bike
  with long black hair to show my might
  I dont follow the latest styles
  they make me throw up bright green bile
  I dont have to shave my head
  or walk around and beg for bread
  I dont have big ears that stick out
  or act like my parents threw me out!
    Dont parade around town
  or shoot up gloo that gets me down
  I dont have lots of holes in my arm
  and have'nt used up all my charms,
  dont go to clubs 'cause I think its cool,
  and hang out with all the fools
  so glad. oh so glad I'm not you
    I dont sit in a highrise office
  and think about how much money I make
  I dont have a greasy toupe or walk around with hair thats fake
  dont have pearls, or cars or furs
  only cowboy boots, no spurs
  no silk sheets apon my bed
  glad I'm not you, I'd rather be dead!
  I have acid wash, but no poodle hair
  thats why I shot you that ugly stare
  no high heels with jeans and socks
  I rather have a bagel, hold the lox
  no tan in the middle of winter
  I'd rather have a ten foot splinter
    [Chorus]